For the Audio Version on YouTube, click here - 1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Peter 3:1-4
Wives, likewise, be submissive to
your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a
word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when
they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do
not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair,
wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let
it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of
a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
After talking about the
importance of us submitting to government authorities and to employers, Peter
then turns his attention to marriage, and talks about the importance of
submission in marriage. He begins by addressing the wives, and reminds them to
be submissive to their own husbands. This one verse, taken out of context has
been the cause for domestic violence, where husbands abuse their wives, and
tend to justify it as well, quoting this verse on submission. Let’s look at
that in detail a little later.
The reason Peter says that
the wife is to submit to her own husband is because God, who instituted
marriage, designed it in such a way that the leader (head) of the home is the
husband. Here again, the word ‘head’
is often misunderstood. Every team needs a leader, and in the amazing team of
marriage, the husband is supposed to be the leader. When a wife submits to her husband
who is a responsible, wise, caring, loving leader, then the home can run
smoothly, and can be a reflection of the love that God intended for marriage to
demonstrate.
He goes on to say something
that is once again an oft misunderstood verse in the church today. I’m sure the
church Peter was writing to, understood what he meant better than we do today.
Back in the day, there were wives who came to faith in Christ from
non-Christian backgrounds, and their husbands would still have been
unbelievers. This means that there would have been a clash between both of them
in areas pertaining to their belief about God, in their values, morals,
identity, purpose of living, etc. It is to these women that Peter encourages to
live a life that so reflects Christ, so that their lifestyle might win their unbelieving
husbands over to the Christian faith.
Today this verse if oft
misunderstood to mean that a believing woman can marry an unbelieving man, with
the hope of winning her husband to the Lord thereafter. There’s no room for
that in Christian marriage. The Apostle Paul warns us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
While this verse can be applied to any binding relationship with unbelievers,
one of the main relationships it applies to, is marriage, as there’ll be
clashes galore if this were to happen. In fact, instead of one drawing their
unbelieving husband to the faith, the opposite could easily happen, and the
woman can be drawn away from her faith in Christ; not forgetting the confusion
that the children will face, seeing their parents practicing two different
faiths in the home.
So when we look at this
verse in this context, we understand that Peter is addressing women, who were
initially unbelievers, along with their husbands, but perhaps came to faith in
Christ. He’s telling these women to do all they can to live in such a way to
help bring their husbands to the faith as well.
He suggests that their conduct
be chaste or pure. He adds another quality that wives need to possess towards
their husbands – fear. Here the word, ‘fear’
does not refer to being scared of the husband, but rather being respectful
toward him. Let’s remember here that before the wife gives her husband respect,
it’s important that the husband first respects his wife, and does not ill-treat
her, disrespect or abuse her in any way. All too often we see situations in
families where husbands abuse their wives in more ways than one, and then
demand respect from their wives; that’s not the way it was meant to be.
He goes on to remind wives
to not let their beauty be only external, limited to the way they do their hair
or the wearing of gold or expensive clothing. Take note that he is not speaking
against arranging your hair, wearing of gold or dressing well, but rather saying
that one’s beauty should not stem from these things, because that does not
reflect the true inner beauty of a person. He goes on to say that beauty should
stem from within; from the heart, which is the seat of all desires and motives,
and from which stem attitudes, thoughts, intents, words, actions and reactions.
If there’s inner beauty, it will be reflected in the way one’s life is lived.
He goes on to further explain what he means by inner beauty – a gentle and
quiet spirit, as opposed to a rude and haughty spirit. Peter goes on to say
that such an attitude by a wife is precious (valuable/esteemed) in the sight of
God.
1 Peter
3:5-7
5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women
who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own
husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling
him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any
terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with
understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and
as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your
prayers may not be hindered.
Peter then goes on to remind
the believing women that the women in times of old adorned themselves with such
submissive attitudes towards their own husbands, rather than focusing on the
adorning themselves with ornaments of external beauty. He then mentions the
name of Abraham’s wife Sarah who was herself submissive to Abraham, and who even
referred to him as ‘lord,’ not that
she worshipped him as God, but respected him highly. He concludes this thought
by saying that those women who do good, and are not terrified of their husbands
will prove that they are children of Sarah. Women are not supposed to be scared
of their husbands, which means that men are not supposed to strike terror or fear
in the hearts of their wives either.
Peter then turns his
attention to the husbands. He begins with the word, “likewise,” meaning that he has something to say to the husbands as
well. He was not going to preach only to the women. The first thing he tells
husbands to do is to live with their wives with understanding. So often we men
want to be understood by our wives, but here Peter suggests the opposite. We
need to take the time and effort to try and understand our wives’ point of view;
the angle they’re coming from; their perspective.
The second thing he asks us
men to do, is to give honor to our wives – another thing we so often demand,
and yet are so unwilling or hesitant to give. In fact, honoring is far greater
than respecting, and that’s what we’ve been called to do – honor our wives. He
then gives a reason why we should honor our wives – because they are weaker
than us. This verse too is often misunderstood.
Peter is not saying that women are weaker intellectually or emotionally
– we know that’s not true. He’s talking about them being weaker than men
physically. This does not mean that a husband boasts in his superior physical
strength, but is a reminder that extra care and concern should be shown to his
wife, seeing she is the weaker vessel. I like the word, ‘vessel,’ Peter uses to describe both the husband and wife. A
vessel is used to contain something, and even so, a husband and a wife both
equally contain the precious grace (gift) of eternal life.
Peter goes on to say that both
are heirs of this gift of eternal life, meaning that with regard to receiving
God’s gift, no one is superior – both have received God’s grace equally and are
therefore equal in God’s sight. That’s why Paul said in Galatians 3:26-28, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For as
many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There
is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is
neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” What Paul was saying is the
same thing Peter is saying here – when it comes to receiving God’s gracious
gift of salvation, it’s available to all people alike – Jew, Gentile, Slave,
Free, Male and Female alike – we are all one in Christ Jesus.
Peter then concludes this
section to husbands by giving a reason why it’s important that we respect our
wives and treat them with love and care as the weaker vessel. As hard as it
might sound, Paul seems to make one thing clear that the prayers of us husbands
can be hindered if we are not respectful to our wives. This may not be a very
popular teaching today, but it seems that this is certainly a cause for the
prayers of many a husband being unanswered.
So often there’s the emphasis to wives to submit to their husbands, with little or no teaching to the husbands about respecting, honoring, loving and caring for their wives, but we fail to realize that it’s unfair to expect a wife to submit to an irresponsible, abusive, uncaring, disrespectful husband. So let’s we as husbands do all we can to love our wives, care for them, honor them, respect them and help them in every way possible, because this is God’s will (desire) for us.
If you were blessed by this study, please share it with others
May God bless you and have a good day or night
Michael Collins
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